WATCH WHAT YOU WISH FOR :(: (Different View Points)

  Today I had a somewhat life changing/ eye opening/ traumatic experience. I haven't decided yet, which to classify it under. I probably haven't had enough time to be putting out here like this, but there's so many thoughts going through my head that this is the best way to get it out. I figure as I ponder, it'll help to go back and see the way I viewed it @ certain points.

   For a few months now things between me and a few certain "special" people to me, for the sake of all this we'll call them Betty and Wilma, have been....STRAINED!

    I've been close to Wilma all my life, more like a sister than just a close family member. Betty.....not so much, she came into the picture by way of another family member.Wilma and I have always had our little girl tiffs.....no that's my toy......I liked him 1st....... and yes, even the occasional NO SHE'S MY FRIEND. Then there was the I don't like your boyfriend or I don't like your friend, ya get the picture, run of the mill shit.

    TODAY IT ALL CAME TO A HEAD WITH ME AND WILMA!


   Started with allot of screaming and yelling and hanging up the phone on my part.  Thinking back on it now, I realize more and more things that were said that I  wish I had defended myself against. Eventually the tempers flared down and we were able to catch about half of what we were each  spewing @ the other and from there, down to an amicable level.

    Where's Betty in all this? THE CENTER AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, I will say she's not the only issue, but she is definitely @ the eye of the storm.  I don't understand why Wilma can confront me in the WOW way that she did, and after hearing my side of the story ( THE RIGHT ONE!) Doesn't seem to show one iota of wanting to confront Betty.

   In all honesty it feels like my jury had convicted before my case had been heard. 


   @   This moment in time my thoughts are.....light side- waste of time
                                                                      heavy side- persecution


   The more I sit and get inside my head, the more ways I can find to twist different things in different ways. I know part of that comes with the being BIPOLAR. Some of it, but not all of it. The problem folks, it I don't know how to tell which from what.Where do my thoughts cross the lines from normal trails of 1 leads to 2 leads to 3 to leads purple leads to yellow leads to blue. And the even better question is who do I ask? I mean come on, who the fuck wants to follow a person around telling them when purple turns into 17 is and acceptable train of that for the situation they're currently in?

   If you  started reading this and your still with me, I think you from my heart.  It takes a type I'm told! :)
And I wonder in trying to prove my point I've probably veered a lil too far off the subject and getting very nervous as to  how I'm going to make it back........
That's ok tho, I'll just let it roll off, this my point off view @ this moment in time.....


Peace 'N Love

APILL