Wednesday, July 25, 2012

My Story pt. 1

Okay, so here I go getting shit outta my head. I was 23 when I got married. 3 months later I went totally fucking nuts and ran off with my husbands nephew, which, up to this point, was COMPLETELY out of character for me. As the next year came and went I had my 2nd child, and did things out of the norm for me with increasing regularity and they became increasingly wild and.....FRANTIC...., for lack of a better word. One day my husband came home and found me curled up in a ball, in the bathtub, with the shower spewing out ice cold water on me, as I chanted incoherently to myself. Well...let me tell you, this seemed a bit odd to us, maybe I needed to get some help, we said, ASAP! So off to the hospital we went. (Now, I should let you know that since this event I have found that manic depression runs rampant in both sides of my family) The Dr.'s immediately wanted to admit me to the dreaded 3rd floor (the nut ward) I would have none of that!!! I broke down, begging and pleading, screaming and yelling. Threatening to run out of the E.R.  Eventually after about 4 hours, I was able to talk the Dr. into letting go home by promising to go to our local nut spot and seek help (he pulled strings and got me an appt. the very next day) and both my husband and I promising I would not be left alone with my children until we knew what was going on. If not for the kids, and having a Dr. tell me he didn't think it was safe for them to be left alone with me I would never have sought help, but he did, and I did. I drug myself outta bed the next day (we had taken the brats to my aunts by this point) and made it to the appt. After two more appts. They told me the thing I never wanted to hear.....YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY BITCH!!!!!!! They said it in nicer words, and oh-so-soothing tones in their voices, but all I heard was.....YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY BITCH!!!!!  For the umpteenth time in the same fucking week, here I was, breaking down again. Damn, maybe they were right, because this is most definitely not how I normally act!!!! It was official:  BIPOLAR

No comments:

Post a Comment